LIGHTS IN THE SKY 2013

[Stanley]

Searched the skies this morning but too cloudy to see any lights. They are out there, NASA report over 100 sightings an hour.
The Cathedrals of Choice are certainly swinging into top gear. What beats me is why people buy types and quantities of food that normally they wouldn't touch with a barge pole. I saw a turkey advertised yesterday for more than I paid for a whole two shear wether! I wonder how much gets loaded onto credit cards at this time of year?
Any news from Trawden?

[Tizer]

How do we know you are not Helen masquerading as Stanley?

There is a precedent Gloria, we've detected Doc masquerading as Stanley on the Computers thread. I know Doc is (probably) benign but it shows that it's possible.

[Stanley]

Curses! Exposed again... Clearer this morning but haven't seen any shooting stars.

[Stanley]

Too cloudy still for any observations but noticeable that traffic in the Cathedral of Choice is building up. Even the kitchen towels are now 'festive'!
What do they do with all that food?

[Stanley]

No chance of any observations. Buying frenzy increases. Not seen the Coca Cola road train yet but no doubt it is on its way. Reports of camels seen in Norfolk turned out to be spurious, they were llamas.

[Gloria]

Went to an odd going on yesterday which certainly needs keeping an eye on. Junior school children on stage dressed as sheep, donkeys and strange wise looking men??? All very excited and making funny singing noises. Has anyone else come across this, or is it just near us "nearer the sea than Barlick" where it occurs---the flat lands!!! they'd make good landing strips

[Cathy]

At the hospital today there was a visit from a huge man in a red and white suit, he even had his head covered and it made it look very big and out of proportion. He had an entourage with him, all dressed the same and with what looked like antlers coming out of their heads, could be receivers for something, anyway they were attracting the kids by handing out bags of lollies. A lot of adults were attracted to the group as well and called out as they went past. Kept hearing ho ho ho, think it is a secret language.

[Marilyn]

Did they diagnose his problem, Cazza. What was wrong with him?

[Tizer]

The red & white suit is what's known as dazzle camouflage as used by Royal Navy ships in WW1. It breaks up the shape and makes identification difficult. The ho ho ho noises are a bit of a give-away though. Usually due to a diet of sherry and mince pies inducing delusions of happiness.

[Stanley]

I've been lucky enough to miss these red versions of Mr Bibendum but no doubt this won't last long. I worked out yesterday that my Xmas shopping will be milk, vinegar and tea bags so the Cathedrals of Choice are in for a thin time as far as I am concerned! I have noticed some people who are so badly affected by the radiation from the emitters that their hats are sparkling with small electrical discharges. They are evidently unaware of them because to all appearances they are otherwise normal.

[Moh]

The children were singing in the hospital foyer yesterday and another school today in Sainsbury's where they were making weird signals with strange instruments - beware!!

[Julie in Norfolk]

Just going to venture out and am taking number one son with me. He has an aura of cynicism that most of us would die for. In fact one can normally smell the cynicism as he approaches...

[Belle]

I have survived my last trip to the cathedral of choice, amazingly it is now a training ground for people who have never shopped before! Seems to me like too much too soon, not unlike taking a first time driver round the M25, they were all wandering around with a lost expression, peering at things on the shelves and shuffling about , many in a panic were flagging down the staff, and asking for directions. There is little hope of them getting out untraumatised!
Just as I was making my escape I spied someone collecting for the air ambulance, I was just making
a donation when some strange creature reclining behind him, began chortling and mumbling at me, similar suit to the one mentioned above, and trying to hide his identity with a fake beard and his hood pulled right down. What he was saying was unintelligible, and the air ambulance man seemed very uncomfortable about the whole situation, thrust a sweet at me to try buy me off, but I wasn't fooled!

[Marilyn]

Maybe he wanted to do despicable things to your body, Belle?
You have had a fortunate escape.

Surely there is a last minute item to pop back for.....

[Stanley]

Belle, you make a valuable point. Actually I don't think it is because they are learner shoppers, just that they have been totally brainwashed by the radiation. I wonder how many people go back for that 'last item' and come out with another trolley-full. Jules, the lad may simply be a realist....
The worst case of Xmas decoration fever I ever saw was at the Madonna Inn on the Camino Real in California in 1979.

[Marilyn]

Looks like something my ex-mother-in-law would put together. She would think it the height of sophistication. Not just the table either....house was decorated like that from " letterbox to outhouse". Then she would decorate herself.
Never met anyone like her....Mrs Bouquet on steroids.

[Moh]

Do you think they are passed us now?

[Stanley]

Maz, the Madonna Inn was painted pink and Mrs Madonna wore a pink cat suit. Sounds like your ex MIL.
Moh, you're right, they must have done because they only have four days to get to Bethlehem, at 15 miles a day this means that they are within 60 miles. The feeding frenzy is in full swing here in Barlick. It's a form of madness!

[Gloria]

I fear I may have succumbed to some of the radiation waves, I have a funny "song" going on in my head since going -- dare I say--shopping!!!!! I have doubled the tinfoil hat, but I fear that is holding the noise in. I even tried wine last night in the hope of flushing it out. I can only catch odd words so it has not quite established itself, something about "let the snowman" then it goes into drivel. Any ideas how to stop it infiltrating further would be more than welcome.

[Marilyn]

More wine needed.

[Gloria]

Wonderful, I shall try more of the flushing out method tonight.

[Tizer]

But make sure it's the genuine stuff and not one of those fakes made with antifreeze or you'll see even more bright lights and men in white suits rather than red!

[Marilyn]

Don't forget valuable, hidden sources...Brandy Custard, Liquer Chocolates, Rum Balls, Egg Nog and Christmas Puddings soaked in anything that you can set light to. One has to work hard and be very dedicated in their quest to ' numb the voices' with these items. A constant feeling of intestinal bloating may prevail.
The liquid sources work much better.
I haven't heard any voices or songs in my head for several days now.....hic...

[Moh]

Too far away from you Maz now - you can relax for another year!

[Wendyf]

Think I'm going to try the flushing cure this evening whilst listening to my CD of Bob Dylan's Christmas songs.....that'll sort it. (Rum Balls? A Down Under Speciality?)