OneGuyFromBarlick

one or two on here i didn't know https://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/heritag ... jlR9AKNV8E

"periodic table"Regular reading for females ?

A word used around the Holmfirth area 1940s for sandwich " phonetic" Shauf, Shawve. ie. a jam shawve

A dying husband in a hospital bed asks his wife, "Our seventh child always looked different from the other six. Did he have a different father?"
His wife, crying uncontrollably answers, "Yes."
He asks, "Who's is it?"
His wife replies, "Yours!"

Ian, I enjoyed that. Tony

Brimham , Nidderdale ? 1947 my school in Hazelhead, Yorks. offered pupils a chance to go on a 4 week outdoor holiday at Pately Bridge, my father thought it was a good idea and coughed up the money, it was a time i have never forgot , hard but enjoyable, cross country running, rock scrambling up runn...

Brimham , Nidderdale ?

My step father had TB, and i recall having x rays in a converted coach that used to visit our area Holmfirth on regular visits in the 1950s

There was once a sheep farmer who needed help with the difficult task of castrating some of his inferior male sheep to keep them from breeding with the females. He hired a French guy who didn't speak English, but was a very good worker: After the first day, they had successfully castrated 14 sheep a...

A man in Melbourne walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of cabbage. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of cabbage. The man was insistent that the boy ask the manager about the matter. The boy says to his manage...

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys h...

It came from France ?

I may have posted before A young Irish man called Paddy wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Donegal and he lived in Kerry . Paddy consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of...

Now, there have long been rumours that Jesus visited England, though many believe that this isn't true. However, they would be wrong, because, though it's little-known, in fact he visited Skegness with his disciples. They were walking along the beach, discussing Godly things, World Peace and the lik...

An Engineer dies.. and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators. The engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how's it going down th...

An interesting ling to the oldest ? steam engine https://www.practicalmachinist.com/vb/a ... ne-384632/

From Face Book Outside Bristol Zoo there is a carpark for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, it’s parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1.40 for cars and £7 for buses. Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn’t show up; so the...

A man goes to the Optician for his annual eye test. The Optician puts a contraption on his face ,and asks him what he can see. "I see empty Airports and empty Football grounds" he says. " I see closed theatres , closed pubs, closed Restaurants " That's perfect says the Optician, ...

Pitch ?

Many years, oh! so many, I met a wonderful girl in the Swan in Ruislip our first date was at a cricket match at Bessingby park. We had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me — it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sis...

An elderly couple, who had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: &q...

Trumpesque from another post :- A Trump campaign lawyer admitted before a federal judge on Thursday that observers for the campaign were allowed to watch ballot canvassing in Philadelphia, after they claimed in court and the President's supporters alleged they were being deprived unfairly. But the f...

Bogie /Bogey , In the Holmfirth area in my childhood this could be a home made form of transport (steering bolt hole drilled with a red hot poker) or a semi solid mucous found in ones nasal aperture

spool from a valve ?

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?' 'Politi...