HOUSEHOLD TIPS NOT FOUND IN WOMAN'S WEEKLY

[Stanley]

I can assure you that death doesn't end responsibility as long as there is money in the estate!
Today's tip is quite sad really for many reasons.



Don't grill sausages while you are reading an interesting book!

[Big Kev]

I always bake mine and set a timer

[Marilyn]

I always stand and watch mine. Didn’t you smell anything?
And what was the book? War and Peace?....

[Stanley]

Pratchett's The Fifth Elephant Maz. Never noticed a thing until I realised the air was blue....

[Marilyn]

I had a friend who had had three insurance claims paid out for new kitchens due to fire. I never understood it then and I don’t understand it now. Can’t you pop a chair near the stove and read while you cook? ( your first duty is to your cooking, but that doesn’t mean you can’t sit beside it and read your book.)

Cooking is like driving. It deserves 100% of your attention, 100% of the time ( unless you are using a slow cooker). When cooking, I always have one eye on the clock and the other on the stove/cooktop. I can not be drawn away.

[Stanley]

That's because women have difficulty multi-tasking Maz. We males are far better at it. Normally I don't have a problem but the book totally grabbed me.
Today's tip. Be nice to people. When you need someone to be nice to you you get a return from your investment!
Someone once said "Be nice to people on your way up the promotion ladder. You'll meet them all on your way down!"

[chinatyke]

That's because women have difficulty multi-tasking Maz.

You like living dangerously!

[PanBiker]

I was thinking the same.

[Big Kev]

Men don't have to multi-task, we know how to prioritise said book was obviously a priority

[Marilyn]

Said book was probably sat on his chest while he dozed

[Tizer]

It's good he didn't read that book when he had charge of the mill engine! That could have ended in more than burnt sausages...

[Stanley]

I was not dozing Maz!
Peter, I often read and wrote while in the engine house but in that case my mind never went off the engine. It was talking to me all the time reporting on its condition.
Today's tip, in a similar situation set a timer to remind you to attend to the grill.

[Stanley]

A very common human response to a stressful situation is for it to become 'normal'. Today's tip is not to fall into this trap, the pandemic isn't 'normal' it is a savage attack by a very powerful force. Do not relax your guard for a moment whether it is in safeguarding or hygiene. Never mind the statistics, the virus is at least as dangerous now as it was in March. Look after yourselves, that is your first line of defence. Anyone who relies on 'government measures' is in a fool's paradise. Their approach is proving to be flawed.

[Stanley]

Don't go to bed early because you feel tired on the night when the clocks go back. You might find yourself with all the time in the world next morning. That's what I did last night by accident!

[Stanley]

Don't trust your internal clock until you have adjusted to the clocks changing. I found myself eating my tea at 15:30 instead of 16:30 yesterday. I should have looked more carefully at the clock!

[Stanley]

I realised yesterday that the hour difference was due to the fact I had missed one clock while putting them all to GMT. It happens to be the one in my line of sight while reading. I almost made the same mistake again yesterday but realised in time what the problem was.
Today's tip. Check you have adjusted all the clocks!

[PanBiker]

I missed the microwave.

[Big Kev]

I never bother setting the clock on the microwave, just press the 'clear' button to stop the display flashing if it ever gets switched off at the wall socket. There's enough clocks in the house and I wear a wristwatch

[Stanley]

Today's tip. If you can avoid it never wear a wrist watch. Like rings and bracelets they can get caught in machinery.
That's why I like to have a clock visible in every room and if my oven or microwave has one I shall activate and maintain it. All I have to do is lift my eyes and I know the time.

[Big Kev]

Today's tip. If you can avoid it never wear a wrist watch. Like rings and bracelets they can get caught in machinery.

Good job I don't operate machinery as I wear all of the above

[Marilyn]

I wear none of the above. I hate jewellery.

[Stanley]

I used to wear a wedding ring many years ago and then met a bloke whose ring had got caught and it ripped his finger off. Funny thing was that the doctors told him it would heal a lot more quickly than if it had been cut off cleanly

[Marilyn]

I refused to wear a wedding ring because it did not define my commitment ( cows wear rings thru their noses and they have no choice).

[PanBiker]

I wear my wedding ring and a signet ring that I got from my mum and dad when I was 21 and a watch of some description, feel a bit naked without the watch and it's amazing how many times you look at i if it's not on. They taped my rings on when I had surgery despite the fact that they would probably have to be cut off.

[Stanley]

I had a wedding ring when I was working for Harrisons on milk pick up. The handles of the kits wore the ring out in no time and we couldn't afford another!