HOUSEHOLD TIPS NOT FOUND IN WOMAN'S WEEKLY

[Stanley]

"Larn it to smook" Peter. Yes, I did repeat that to myself and remember my old mate Newton.



Newton larning Ellenroad Chimney to smook in 1985.

Today's tip. Avoid fratching over the slow pace of contractors in the town. It doesn't make any difference and if you were in charge you'd probably be prosecuted by H&S!

[Stanley]

If you lose your fitness trainer don't worry too much about whether you will walk as much. I did but have found out that my love of routine has saved the day, I still do exactly the same walks as I did before when I had the imperative of exercising Jack.

[Marilyn]

Son says he still does the same walks every day, missing his “buddy”...but otherwise he seems to be ok.

[Stanley]

Good lad! The walks are just as important for us. (But we don't go round sniffing everyone's bums!)

[plaques]

There's always friends and neighbours who would be happy for him to talk their dogs out for a walk.

[Marilyn]

It wouldn’t be the same. Son is a shift worker, so odd hours to be walking, but it is a nice thought. ( for example, son got home at 2.30 am this morning...and his dog always understood the hours...tail wagging...ready to trot)

[Big Kev]

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[Stanley]

Tell me about it Kev! I was in bed at half past eight last night for that very reason.
Today's tip. If you have a qualified daughter get her to give you a full foot treatment about every three weeks.
[I get a hug and a kiss as well but I stress, it is reasonably safe, she is tested once a week for Covid as she is a care worker. A risk worth taking I think. One of the underpaid army who is keeping this country going.]

[Stanley]

If you are looking for zero risk exercise get out early in the morning before anyone else is about. As long as you don't touch anything you are perfectly safe. Stop being compulsive about litter picking, don't pick anything up from the floor. I haven't litter picked since March.

[Stanley]

Wendy's report of flue cleaning reminded me. If you are burning wood in an enclosed stove don't have it smouldering, always have a brisk blaze. That keeps tar deposits in the flue to a minimum. If you need overnight burning on a low setting, burn the wood off first and bank up for the night with a good smokeless fuel. That doesn't tar up the flue. On wood, occasionally have a very hot fire as that burns off any slight tar deposits there are.
Bit like occasionally doing a very hot wash in the washing machine, it keeps internal deposits down to a minimum.

[Stanley]

Never lower your guard when using machinery! I did just that yesterday and was very lucky not to do any lasting damage. Frightened me to death!

[Tizer]

General tip - as you get older you have to be even more careful!
I tripped over a kerb stone yesterday - I'm sure it's been raised in height...

[Stanley]

Quite right Peter.
Today's tip; never forget that gravity is slowly increasing with climate change. This is why steps and stairs are harder to climb! Make allowances for it.

[Tizer]

...never forget that gravity is slowly increasing with climate change.

Tomorrow you'll find that statement has gone viral and is on the front pages of newspapers and credited to Professor Stanley Graham of Barlick University!

[Stanley]

Funny you should mention that Peter...
When I applied for the full form of my Birth certificate for Janet when she was gathering evidence for Australian Citizenship and found that one of the four surnames I could choose from was MacDonald I was in Northfield teaching at Carleton College where I had the honorary title of Professor. I commented to Martha that Professor Stanley Challenger MacDonald had a certain ring to it and she wanted me to do it but I couldn't be arsed!
(Echoes of Prof Challenger in 'The Lost World'. Quiz question to test your memory; What was it escaped through an open window when he was giving his lecture in London?)

[Stanley]

The quiz question... It was a baby Pterodactyl. Surprised you lot didn't pile in with that!
Don't go into a decline over understanding the latest Pendle Covid restrictions. Just carry on as normal exercising social distancing, hand washing and enhanced hygiene. It's got you this far and is the only defence we have at the moment.

[Stanley]

If the site goes down, write pieces for posting as soon as it recovers!

[Stanley]

I have noted in the past that I find it strange, when talking about hand Hygiene during the pandemic nobody has mentioned keeping your fingernails short.
Today's tip is to look after your nails and change your towels and wiping cloths frequently.
Another thing that matters, wash your towels and clothes on at least 60C which will kill most of the bacteria.

[Tizer]

Using laundry detergent will kill all dangerous bacteria and viruses even at lower temperatures. The detergents physically destroy them.

[Marilyn]

I wash in cold water and always have. No problems encountered...ever!

[Cathy]

Ditto

[Tripps]

The detergents physically destroy them.

Perhaps we should soak our face coverings in it, or even gargle with it.

[Tizer]

Trump probably does gargle with it - when he can't get bleach!

[Marilyn]

Whenever we have travelled in the UK, we always wonder why washing machines over there are designed to either boil or bash one’s clothes to death...

[chinatyke]

Whenever we have travelled in the UK, we always wonder why washing machines over there are designed to either boil or bash one’s clothes to death...

When I moved to China my wife educated me on washing clothes at low temperatures as I always used a warm wash cycle. Our clothes aren't dirty, just sweaty, so don't need the same rough treatment as manual worker overalls. I think you'd be hard pressed to get mechanics oily overalls clean on a cold wash cycle. I wonder about how effective new liquid detergents are because you can't add all the required ingredients like you can in a fully built laundry powder. But liquid detergents and cold cycle (25C here) are very effective on my wash load. Very occasionally I run a 60C cycle which is more to clean and disinfect the machine than anything else. You don't need a boil wash to have an effective thermal sterilisation, it just takes longer at lower temps.