HOUSEHOLD TIPS NOT FOUND IN WOMAN'S WEEKLY

[Marilyn]

In a backyard as small as Stanley's...perhaps a slatted wooden walkway would be better/ safer? Possibly with ridged rubberised tread?
I am thinking of you hips, Stanley. ( or possibly broken ones!)

[Tizer]

Maz, put an ice cube into each of two cups. Sprinkle salt on one of them and see how that cube melts fastest. If you also sprinkle a bit of colouring onto each cube it's easier to see the melting and can give some interesting colourful effects. Have fun!

[Marilyn]

At what point do I add the Tequila?

[chinatyke]

At what point do I add the Tequila?

Before the colouring! Watching ice cubes melt is akin to watching paint dry so add a generous measure of Tequila so that you don't care what happens.

[Marilyn]

How is life without the wife, China?
I expect standards have slipped to an indulgently comfortable level fairly rapidly?

[Stanley]

Thanks for your concern Maz but I only use it when the snow/ice has been cleared to get rid of the surface slippiness and a thin sprinkling of common salt is fine and doesn't tread into the house!
Duckboards or mats would be even more slippy!

[chinatyke]

How is life without the wife, China?
I expect standards have slipped to an indulgently comfortable level fairly rapidly?

My life is good with or without the wife. She is enjoying herself with her daughter and granddaughter. Thanks for asking.

Standards are improving by the minute! The kitchen is super clean and tidy and the work surfaces have been scrubbed and waxed. I've removed her Chinese rubbish foods and these are being fed to the chickens. Cupboard space has been freed up and the cupboard interiors cleaned. I've just stripped off the loose covers on the lounge suite and these will be washed in 3 loads tomorrow. I did the cushion covers today and they made the other covers look shabby.

It will be like a new pin by the time she gets back at the end of April. It isn't that she doesn't clean, it's just that she doesn't see dirt above 4' - her eye-level, and hates throwing things away!

Only another 171 days of freedom left...

[Stanley]

If that is really your definition of freedom, today's tip must be live on your own for the perfect life.....

[Marilyn]

My brain totally agrees with you Stanley. ( I could eat when and what I want. I could watch the TV I wanted and turn it off when I wanted. I would sleep much better keeping my own hours. I could have early nights snuggled up with a book. And I wouldn't have to put up with the TV on at 3am if hubby can't sleep...)
My heart says different. I like being married...
One has to accept the down side

[Stanley]

I know Maz and that was on my mind when I responded to China. I enjoyed the companionship of my relationships and the luxury of cuddling up to a warm bum in bed but on the whole.......
Mind you, Jack is worse than living with Cromwell!

[Stanley]

Shoes can be bought so cheaply these days that you may have pause for thought when you face a charge of £16 for a pair of steel tipped heels on your old boots. You pays your money and makes your choice. I wear these boots every day and they have served me well for 30 years. They and my feet are in excellent condition. I rest my case......

[Stanley]

Looking back, the best footwear I ever had for my feet was clogs and I wore them for many years on the tramp and the cattle wagon. Today's tip is if you are working with cattle, always wear footwear that makes a distinctive noise, the cattle hear you coming and know when you are behind them. It's a startled beast that kicks you!
I once delivered some cattle at a farm in Aldershot and the kids were fascinated with my clogs. I took them off and they took turns stamping round the yard in them. I'll bet they still remember me.....

[Stanley]

I need to sew a button on one of my shirts and have been putting it off. Most unlike me so I have reminded myself that a stitch in time saves nine! Action this day.

[Stanley]

I did my make do and mend and at the same time reminded my self that the door knob on the kitchen door is loose! I shall attend to it using the resources of the shed. If you keep on top of household maintenance it doesn't bug you!

[Marilyn]

Our regular jobs include washing off bird poo at this time of year, plus brushing round doors and windows externally to remove spider webs. We also spray those areas with surface spray. We don't get bugs and spiders inside, as we have good screens.
I had to sweep and spray the outside washing line yesterday and I regularly sweep and spray the wheelie bin handles.
Hate spiders. Got bitten last year and ended up in the ED with swelling of the throat. Then followed about 3 months of the bite area swelling/weeping and breaking down. Had a hole in my foot at one point and worried it wouldn't ever heal. Six months later it broke down again. ( all fine since....but I am really hard on spiders now. If I see one it doesn't survive the encounter. I have developed a swift action with my thong! Bang! Dead!)

[Bodger]

I have developed a swift action with my thong!

My mind boggles!!!

[Marilyn]

I am talking footwear, not underwear, Bodge.
( I have never got on well with thong underwear...but that is "too much information" as the kids would say)
( mind you, I am not in to "neck to knee" stuff either!)

Spiders....ick!...thong off...slap! Gone!

[PanBiker]

Our kitchen spider has produced a nest for nurturing it's babies. Mind you ours are not likely to bite a hole in you! I expect Kev to make a comment here.

[Marilyn]

"Kitchen spider"?
What is wrong with you?!
Get rid of it Man...and any relatives. I will post you one thong. I still need the other one.
You make me shudder.

[PanBiker]

Generally speaking Maz our spiders in temperate climate are harmless, there are odd exceptions but in the main they are helpful creatures to have around the house. I certainly wouldn't kill one just for the sake of it. Ours can catch and eat as many flies as they wish in the kitchen. We have a big house spider as well, that generally goes on patrol in the evenings in summer, you can hear him or her running across the carpet, too quick for the cats as well.

[Stanley]

Maz, you reminded me of this..... "The thong has ended but the mammary lingers on." (Sorry about that....)
I always let spiders alone for the same reason as Ian. The big Governor Spiders in Perth kill flies as well.

[Marilyn]

I think that if you can "hear it" ( blimey ! ) "running across the carpet" ( strewth!)....then it is time to employ
( drum roll please) "MAZ'S THONG".
( this is where we see hand coming up from the deep earth...dirt and stones fall off...as heroic hand displays the thong in a warrior-like fashion. Those closest to it will gasp and sob - thankful to be saved and overcome with the magestic object )
I have four pairs, so can safely post off seven to needy households. Nice thongs/slightly worn/non smelly/ fits adult hand nicely/satisfying slapping noise. Can send instructions for those completely devoid of brain cells.

[Big Kev]

Our kitchen spider has produced a nest for nurturing it's babies. Mind you ours are not likely to bite a hole in you! I expect Kev to make a comment here.

Just caught up with this, I still have a lump on my leg...

[Marilyn]

I had a lump, until the skin and flesh totally dissolved and I had a raw hole I could have rested a golf ball in. I could see internal structures I couldn't bear to look at....and there were black edges!

[Tizer]

I wonder if Ian's spiders would manage to catch one of the giant Tabanus flies that we found in our conservatory and which I described on OG 3 years ago: Tabanus fly Surprisingly, I think it was not that but a much smaller insect that caused me most grief with its bites - several times I had a blister on my ankle at least an inch in diameter and still have discoloured patches of skin where they occurred. I'm hoping that our move into town will save me from the insect!