THE FLATLEY DRYER

[Tizer]

Before my time!

[Tripps]

I do. She was well exotic.

There was an urban myth sort of thing at one time that she was really called Amy Camus (letters reversed). You can't get away with that nowadays, with Wikipedia. I think I prefer her magnificent real name - 'Zoila Augusta Emperatriz Chávarri del Castillo.'

On bricks - is it true that NORI were so called because the chimney of the factory had the letters of the word IRON built into it, but they started with the I first and everyone read it as NORI?

Please let it be true.

[Stanley]

No David, the accepted story is that when the first moulds were made for making the bricks, the pattern maker slipped up and forgot to make the impression in the mould a mirror image of IRON, the name they had decided on as a trade mark. It was so distinctive that they left it.
The name on the chimney story could have originated from Mons mill at Todmorden. If viewed from above it looked like SNOW and the joke was you could always see SNOW from the top of the chimney.

[Stanley]

Thinking about what could be urban myths, I remember the war time ones about Nuns wearing ammunition boots and the constant warnings that we were to be invaded by thousands of German paratroopers. Sounds daft I know but at one time early in the war many people lived in constant fear of this.
Later on I was told that if you stood in the base of a chimney and looked up the shaft at the sky you could always see stars even during the day. I have to report that I have tried this and never see them!



Looking up the inside of Ellenroad chimney. No sign of the stars!

Something just struck me, does anyone remember the one about the dead Granny on the roof rack? (LINK)

[Tizer]

Perhaps the fear in Britain of being invaded by thousands of German paratroopers wasn't surprising when you think about Blitzkrieg and how fast the German army moved at the start of the war.

I hadn't heard the dead granny story before. Yesterday I saw a car drive away from where it had been parked, opposite our house, leaving a child's buggy standing in the road - it had been behind the boot of the car. Luckily we're in a cul de sac and the car had to turn around at the end and come back up the road. On came the hazard flashers, the car jerked to a halt, out jumped Mum, buggy quickly installed in the boot and away she went. At least she's learnt a lesson about checking before driving off! (It's good the child wasn't left in the buggy too!)

[Stanley]

It was common currency Tiz.
This one is not an urban myth, it happened. A cattle dealer and his driver minding their own business driving home from Lanark Market to Rotherham, pulled up by the police because they had a sports car jammed under the spare wheel carrier. It was stolen and during the chase the driver had misjudged and ran it under there. He baled out as they were going up a hill and did a runner so the police went after him and got another car to chase the wagon. I knew the driver and he said all he felt was a slight jerk but that was always a possibility carrying cattle if you didn't do a smooth gear change, Who'd have thowt it!

[Stanley]

My mind went back yesterday to 1947 when I was rushed into the Stockport Infirmary which was part of the old Workhouse system. I can still remember the bleak interiors, made no better by the neglect during the war. I told the two nurses who were looking after me in recovery about it and I don't think I was boring them. I ended up giving them a short history of the Poor Law and the workhouse system and it passed the time nicely. Some of the other nurses joined in and we had a little seminar on the origins of the NHS. You can't keep a communicator down!

[Stanley]

Family medicine in those far off days was entirely different. You had to pay for visits, either to the surgery or at home. There were schemes called Hospital Funds where you paid a small amount each week into a fund and were assured of free or cheaper treatment at the Infirmary. Many 'small operations' were done at home on the kitchen table, even tonsillectomy was common.
Our 'family doctor' was Tommy O'Connell at Didsbury, he was a friend of fathers but I think we still had to pay. I can't remember the amount but two shillings seems to be embedded in the back of my mind. He had his office in his home and dispensed his own medicine in a glass outhouse at the back of the house. I remember that there ware two doors into his room, a green cloth covered padded one on the outside and a normal door inside. I think this was to make sure that any cries of pain didn't get into the waiting room!
He took me into the dispensary once and I remember there were two big glass bottles one labelled Mist Expec and the other mist ussi (I think those were the names). I later found that one was to make you expectorate and the other to loosen a tight chest, those were evidently the mainstays of the practice as far as medicine was concerned.
On reflection and taking into account what I learned later, there had been very little progress since the days of medicinal leeches in medieval times. It makes you wonder how we survived when you think of what we were exposed to. Perhaps it is that exposure that ensured that we grew up with such good immune systems. Then there is the Darwinian approach, only the fittest survived! Is that my biggest asset now?

[plaques]

and dispensed his own medicine in a glass outhouse at the back of the house

I was enrolled in Dad's doctor's practice. A one man band located in a small gable end house in an area that has long since been demolished. His waiting room was what used to be the general multi purpose living room and his consulting room the old kitchen. On a part time basis the cleaner would act as the receptionist and sit in a tiny cupboard surrounded by coloured bottles and other magic potions. Made all his house visits and payment collections by bicycle. He finally retired when he was in his late 80's. This all sounds pretty primitive but he certainly knew what he was doing and Dad swore by him as the best Doctor in the area.

[Stanley]

1976. Dr. John Wilfred Pickard enjoying retirement with Fly my cattle dog in the garden at Hey Farm.

John Wilfred was an old school doctor like yours P. He practised until the 1960s and whilst he was regarded as eccentric his patients swore by him. He used to take every refresher course that was going and kept himself up to date. He was never my GP but became a good friend and frequent visitor at home and the engine house. We talked for hours and he had a good brain, we were never at a loss for a subject. He was particularly good on what was then VD, he had volunteered at the Burnley Clinic during the war and was a mine of information!
The old doctors didn't have the benefits of modern training and some were lazy but John wasn't. He was always enquiring and had the benefit of immense experience. Lots of the old doctors fell prey to easy ways of blocking the world out, after all they must have seen some bad cases and been helpless. I've known GPs who could only function if they were inebriated or worse. John was never one of them, his defence was his pose of eccentricity which in the end became a way of life! I had one doctor at Earby who was famous for being bad tempered but that was his defence, he loved Shepherd prints of steam engines and elephants and made violins in his spare time at home. When he retired I told him I had him sussed. Nobody who enjoyed things like that could be as bad as he was made out to be.

[Stanley]

Today, as I rug up to go out for my morning walk I think of my mother making sure I was well-wrapped up on cold days long ago. Looking at the way some people dress for the cold these days (or don't!) I wonder if they had the benefit of a mother who cared for them. I saw a baby in a pram yesterday with a bare head! I would have thought that at least the mother would have covered its head with a hat. Perhaps it's me that is out of step, some men are still wearing shorts....
I suppose some of it is because I am getting older, we need to keep warm.
On a different note, I have just heard a man on Open Country refer to Mow Cop in Cheshire, an 18th century folly. (LINK) You may remember that my mother had a club foot due to polio when she was young but she was an indefatigable walker and when we were evacuated to Pool Farm at Congleton she used to walk us up there and also up a neighbouring hill called The Cloud where there is a rock feature known as the Giant's Footprint. The local legend is that it was this giant who reduced 'Mow Cop Castle' to a ruin by stepping on it. Total cobblers of course but I believed it implicitly then! (LINK)

[Stanley]

I saw something yesterday that I haven't seen for a long time. A car sat in Cooperative Street with an electric lead across the road and a charger sat on top of the engine. I suppose this is as common as it always was but it got me to thinking about the way modern cars depend absolutely on having a charged battery.
Going back over 60 years to when we were running Bedford petrol engined wagons with 6 volt systems on a she string we were used to flat batteries and use of the starting handle to get a start first thing on a cold morning. Once the engine was running, the dynamo gave enough current in the system to keep the ignition system going even if the battery was totally knackered so no real problem. But then we got into more modern engines which had alternators and ran into an unexpected problem, the alternator depended on a small current from the battery to excite it which allowed it to start generating. If a battery was totally flat we could no longer start it by a starting handle (It didn't have one anyway) or even towing it off in gear if it had an electrical ignition system. The only way was to couple up a good battery to the bad one and jump start it. 'Jump Leads' became an essential part of our equipment and as the diesels we were using then were too hard to turn over to get them going we could get the wagon going (no ignition system) but the problem was they wouldn't charge and we still had no juice for accessories if the battery was totally knackered. The only cure was new batteries.
This got me to thinking.... I don't know enough about modern computerised vehicles to know how they will react to a bad battery. Can you open the doors? Does the engine refuse to run without the computer controlling it? In short, is a modern vehicle totally disabled if the battery is flat? I'd be glad to learn!

[Tripps]

I don't know enough about modern computerised vehicles to know how they will react to a bad battery. Can you open the doors? Does the engine refuse to run without the computer controlling it

Oh dear - something else for me to worry about. I might have to read the (very thick) handbook.

[Tizer]

I had a problem with the electronic handbrake on our Golf. I wanted to let the car roll forward without having to start the engine. But pushing down the electronic handbrake doesn't work. After spending some time with the (badly written) manual I found that the method is to hold down the foot brake then let if off and the car rolls. Even if the engine is running the car won't roll forward out of gear, you have to do the same thing with the foot brake.
On our Golf the key opens and closes doors electronically but it's still a conventional key with a `blade' for the ignition. I've not tried it but apparently if the battery is dead you use the blade as described in this article: LINK I wonder how many times the breakdown services get called out because most of us don't know about this and might not carry a handbook in the car?

[Big Kev]

My brother in law went to NZ for 3 months so I run his car around the block (10 miles or so) every 4 weeks, apparently this is not enough to keep the battery charged and I couldn't get in, electronically, on the 3rd run. Replacing the battery wasn't enough either, it had to go back to Ford for a reset...

[Stanley]

Bloody hell Kev..... That's terrible! And this was designed into the car? How does something like that make a car convenient? We didn't need a handbook, you just got in, put it in neutral and let the handbrake off to let it roll. What happens if you need a tow? As for starting, gear in neutral, handbrake on, choke out starting handle in from the front and away you go. Only thing that could stop you was if you had parked with the bumper too close to the wall and I have seen that happen!
Mick's new Toyota Rav goes into a panic if something gets within 3 feet of it, on a narrow road that's every vehicle you meet. This seems to be the default setting. I think he's still searching the handbook to find a way to cancel it.
Margaret was driving a new Range Rover when she came over for the wedding and that beeped constantly in heavy slow moving traffic. And ever time you came to a traffic light the engine stopped! I'm afraid this wouldn't do for me and it means that a bad driver can be lured into a sense of false security thinking the car will do everything including stopping if someone walks in front!

[deebee]

I'm afraid this wouldn't do for me and it means that a bad driver can be lured into a sense of false security thinking the car will do everything including stopping if someone walks in front!

Some cars already do!

db

[Tizer]

My Golf hasn't shown any propensity yet to stop of its own accord if someone walks in front but it does force an emergency stop if it judges I'm approaching the rear of another car at too dangerous a speed. It also squeaks at me if it thinks I might be drifting off to sleep or not paying attention. I don't know how it works that out but I don't make a habit of falling asleep at the wheel or lacking attention to the road ahead, yet it has forced a stop several times. This seemed to happen when I was approaching the back of stationary traffic so at least it was acting `on the safe side'.

[Stanley]

Spooky! I realise I am sadly out of date but we had to stay alert all day, and some of those days were very long. I always remember Stirling Moss, in an interview, saying that the drivers he admired most were the HGV drivers who maintained concentration for many hours at a stretch. I was lucky because apart from the road I loved seeing new country as I trammed round the country and that helped to keep me alert.
One consequence of that attention was that you developed a sixth sense about traffic behaviour a quarter of a mile ahead because in the days of heavy loads and inadequate brakes before the Transport Act of 1968 you had to be ready to act in good time. I have lost track of the number of times I have forecast a manoeuvre by a vehicle long before it signalled a turn.
However, over the years, no matter how attentive you were, the traffic became more and more unpredictable. That's why I chucked driving into touch almost 15 years ago. I realised that the traffic was frightening me by its unpredictability. The danger was just as much from oncoming traffic veering into your path as the cars on your side of the road. You've all seen evidence of this inattention. I had enough sense to vote with my feet!

[Tizer]

We all think we won't fall asleep at the wheel but one of my young relatives did so, and in the fast lane of the motorway too. Fortunately he was in heavy traffic and not going very fast. He touched the barrier but was able to keep control of the car. A very big shock for him and it won't happen again.

[Stanley]

It happened to me one night at speed on a deserted motorway and I tore the muscles in my back because of the violence of my instinctive reaction. It was in the days when the only way you could survive was to keep the wheels turning. Tramping was a cruel hard world and I am glad they have gone.
There was a firm at Leeds who were rumoured to have their own plots in the cemetery, the joke was that the kid asked its mother if Daddy was dead. She said "No, he works for S******."

[Stanley]

From the day I left school and went to work on the farm in Warwickshire I had to get into the habit of getting up early. At Harrod's Farm I was milking at 5AM. When I went into the army the lads complained about getting up at 6AM but it was no problem for me, I had a lie-in every morning! Every job I had subsequently entailed early mornings, any time after midnight. The consequence has been that I am an 'early morning person' as you all know. It suits me fine. Even when I was managing Ellenroad I still got up early to do my administration, nobody rang you up to interrupt you that early. I was once asked how I managed it and I said it was simple, the hard part isn't getting up at that time but going to bed 8 hours before.
When I was driving the cattle wagon for Richard we had Lanark market on Monday and Ayr market on Tuesday and the consequence was that I did around 40 hours on those two days. My defence against this was to come to an arrangement with Richard whereby I slept in on Wednesday morning until I woke naturally. It worked and it was usually about 9AM when I arrived at Yew Tree. These days I make up for the early mornings by always going to bed in the middle of the day for two hours. Again, this seems to suit my system and I never have to set an alarm, over the years my head has got used to the regime and I wake naturally.
Of late, research seems to suggest that early birds have generally better health than night owls but this could be because they don't get enough sleep, they have to be up early enough in the morning to get in step with the world.

[Tripps]

When I went into the army the lads complained about getting up at 6AM but it was no problem for me, I had a lie-in every morning!

Reminded me of this letter home -

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay, practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges they come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,
Alice

[Tizer]

Thanks for raising that one again, Tripps. It's `a beaut'!

[plaques]

Probably I should have put this in the Steam Engines section. But being a bit of local nostalgia it covers more than I expected and a good chunk of Stanley himself. Worth 5 minutes of anybody's time amusing as well. Film by Daniel Meadows.