Family Matters

[Stanley]

"We know why we have kids when we are young."
I'll second that statement Ian! Findlay is a big lad....

[PanBiker]

Yes, he is 9 years old now and plays Junior Rugby. His dad used to play for Wharfedale and now coaches. No "d" in his name though, it's Finlay. He is thick set compared to his sister but still dwarfed by his cousin Ruby.

[Sue]

Sadly my brother in Cleckheaton died this morning.

[Wendyf]

Sorry for your loss Sue. Its not long since you went to visit him is it?

[Sue]

2 weeks. He said he had tests for cancer and they were negative. He has died of advanced colon and lung cancer. I think he knew and didn’t tell us. He insisted we took his will home with us and send copies to those who needed it. I am sad but he has been so unhappy the last few years. A very complex man and we didn’t always see eye to eye, but he was my brother and I will remember the good times. And there are lots . Thank you for the condolences

[Stanley]

That's tough Sue. It sounds as though he did his best to protect you. My brother did the same, none of us had any idea he was that poorly when he died in June 2020.
Incidentally, we have not got the will finalised yet due to the dilatory work of his joint landlords. This is so bad our solicitors have started proceedings against them...... I call it Jarndyce versus Jarndyce.

[Gloria]

So sorry Sue xx

[Cathy]

My condolences Sue.

[Big Kev]

That's sad news Sue.

[chinatyke]

Condolences, Sue.

[PanBiker]

So sorry to hear that Sue, condolences.

[Sue]

Thank you for your messages of condolence. We have decided to stay put as originally planned as there is nothing we can do at the moment at home.

[Stanley]

The only sensible decision. He won't mind......

[Stanley]

For those of you who remember my own version of Jarndyce versus Jarndyce.... It's still dragging on and even the solicitors are at a loss to explain the extraordinary tardy behaviour of the London solicitors. They are even threatening them with legal action but it makes no difference. The main trouble is that they are allowed to mark their own card. There is no easy sanction against them. Broad shoulders Stanley..... !

[PanBiker]

It's nine years ago today since we got the knock on the door to say our Dan had died. We will be going for a walk this afternoon.

[Wendyf]

I hope the weather brightens up a bit for you Ian. It can't be an easy day for you to get through.

[Stanley]

That triggered me and I had a look in the archive and tripped over this.



Some images just grab you by the throat....

[Sue]

Today I felt very sad going into my brothers ‘ empty’ flat, having to search through his personal belongings for any paperwork or things that we needed to remove. He had obviously been rather ill for sometime with boxes of medication and other home care stuff. It is so sad that he could not tell us but so in his character of not admitting even to himself that he was human and had failings. When my Mum died and later my Dad I felt an urgent need to clean and tidy and restore things to how they used to be. I felt the same need today and will visit soon with bin bags for rubbish and black sack for medication to return to the pharmacist. I shall tidy through but not clean as we have to have the whole place cleaned professionally before it is returned for a future letting. It makes you aware of your own belongings and what will be left behind for others to deal with.

We did find the things we wanted/needed but I also found and removed the tea mug coaster that I made him forChristmas last year. I was pleased to see it has been well used and was on the coffee table next to his chair. I shall wash it and use it myself.

Its good to chat about these things

Sad days, I shall be glad when it is all sorted

[Stanley]

Tidying up after a death can be exhausting and I commiserate Sue. I understand perfectly your feelings about the coaster.
As you might remember I am dealing with one at the moment, my Jarndyce v. Jarndyce case. (May the lawyers collecting their fees for obfuscating and procrastinating rot in Hell!) (We are in the very final stages and God knows there might be a resolution soon!)
I've tried to simplify things with my daughters for when I shuffle off, obvious things like Wills, Final Directive and LPAs. We have decided on the destination for major items like the workshop and the books connected with it etc. I even have a Literary Executive and he's been paid already!
One tip, seed your drawers with little surprises for them when they are clearing them out. It might cheer them up a bit!

[Tizer]

One tip, seed your drawers with little surprises for them when they are clearing them out. It might cheer them up a bit!

As I write this a little wooden bowl with lid sits by my PC screen. Underneath is scribed `Rimu NZ'. Mrs Tiz's father used to keep his peppermints in it. It came from New Zealand where his parents lived and is made from the Rimu tree (Dacrydium cupressinum) which is a podocarp species endemic to NZ, i.e. not introduced but native. It's a descendant of podocarps growing hundreds of millions of years ago when NZ was a part of the great Gondwana supercontinent (NZ, Australia, South America, India, Antarctica and Mauritius are the dispersed remnants). It was a little surprise for us!

[Stanley]

Little things like that can make all the difference can't they....
Mind you, sometimes the kids can beat you to it. Remember the little wobbler engine I made?



Susan played with it every time she visited and kept telling me how much she liked it so of course in the end I gave it to her. That's one surprise that never reached the drawers!

[Sue]

One tip, seed your drawers with little surprises for them when they are clearing them out. It might cheer them up a bit!

As I write this a little wooden bowl with lid sits by my PC screen. Underneath is scribed `Rimu NZ'. Mrs Tiz's father used to keep his peppermints in it. It came from New Zealand where his parents lived and is made from the Rimu tree (Dacrydium cupressinum) which is a podocarp species endemic to NZ, i.e. not introduced but native. It's a descendant of podocarps growing hundreds of millions of years ago when NZ was a part of the great Gondwana supercontinent (NZ, Australia, South America, India, Antarctica and Mauritius are the dispersed remnants). It was a little surprise for us!

A lovely surprise. I found my great Aunts school photo when she was about 5 circa 1894, and my grandmas diaries from 1927 to 1984. A whole host of family memorabilia surfaced including a beautiful embroidered 21 st birthday silk handkerchief of mu Mums

I have kept some of the girls special toys, which they will find and remember connections .

[PanBiker]

28 years today since my dad died. Here he is on the 12th May 1937 with my mum. Day after his 19th birthday, mum is 16 going on 17.

[Stanley]

Shiny Shoes.....

[Tizer]

Lovely surprises can come if you look in old books inherited or owned by relatives. Too often they just get dumped or given to a S/H bookshop when someone dies, probably without looking inside them. I have one of those large-format books of `photos of the world' from the late 1800s published to give people the excitement of seeing foreign places. It's very well worn and I can remember how we often looked through it when I was a young child. It has one of those fancy `certificates' pasted inside the front cover stating that it was given to the named person for good attendance at Methodist Chapel. Unfortunately the name was unknown to my parents and we assumed it had been acquired from a friend or a S/H bookshop. The surprise came when I researched my family history and found that the person was my great-grandmother's father!

We have books from Mrs Tiz's side too. One is a botany book with an inscription inside written by the author thanking Mrs Tiz's mother for her assistance with a research project. There are earlier books too relating to her ancestors.

In the 1980s I was working on cereal science - wheat, barley, oats, rye, maize etc. All grasses and I got interested in wild grasses and became something of an amateur expert at identifying them - there are about 200 species in Britain alone. The world's leading expert on grasses worked at Kew Gardens but sadly he died before I had a chance to meet him. His book collection went to a bookseller near Kew specialising in plants. I was lucky and found out in time to be able to buy many of his books, some of them dating back to the 1800s. That's one lot that didn't go to the dump!