Family Matters

Post by **PanBiker** » 06 Dec 2016, 19:10

We came home to the news that Sally's Aunt Margaret, the eldest and last of the Abram sisters had died peacefully in her sleep. We went to her 100th birthday party then her 101st and her 102nd last May. She was still living independently in Long Preston when she was 99 years old until she had a fall which eventually put her into Favourdale at Gargrave. Apart from Sally's mum and dad and her cousins around Carleton, Aunty Margaret was one of the first of her relations I met when Sally had me take her over on the motorbike to see her in intensive care at Airedale when we were first courting, that was 43 years ago. Everyone thought that she would not recover from her fourth bout of cancer which at that session cost her a full hysterectomy, more radiotherapy and chemo. Frail to look at as long as I knew her but actually the constitution of an Ox. There are a lot of long lived Abrams in the tree. R.I.P. Aunt Margaret.

Parents and all my Aunts and Uncles are gone and so are Sally's now so we are now officially the older generation of our respective families.

LizG · Post by **LizG** » 06 Dec 2016, 20:42

PanBiker wrote: Parents and all my Aunts and Uncles are gone and so are Sally's now so we are now officially the older generation of our respective families.

It's a strange feeling I'll bet. Aunt Margaret sounds like an amazing lady or as we'd say "a tough old bird".

Post by **Sue** » 06 Dec 2016, 22:05

My two elderly aunts died last Christmas, Bobs having died years earlier. We too are now the older generation. I am not sure I like it

Post by **Stanley** » 07 Dec 2016, 04:11

You'd better get used to it Sue! Ian, that was one tough woman!
Janet is almost home..... Now I have to find out who went with her! I might be home alone again.
I got a surprise yesterday, Janet rang me while they were waiting to go for the flight. Wonderful!! She was frightened and needed a word with me. Nice to know you are useful.

Post by **Stanley** » 08 Dec 2016, 05:47

No direct word from Carine yet (They will be too busy getting Janet settled in and on an even keel). My mates Melissa and Sarah helped me and we arrived at the conclusion that Janet's children are in London and will be flying out next Monday. Good timing, it gives Janet a chance to regroup quietly.

I know where Margaret and Mick are! They called in to see me yesterday, they fly back on Sunday. Margaret sheared my hair off and clipped my ear hairs and eyebrows, such a treat to have it done for you! So we have a full picture of where everyone is. Now I need to hear that Janet is recovering after the flight......
(Note the clean sink!)

Post by **Moh** » 08 Dec 2016, 13:28

Two peas in a pod springs to mind!

Post by **Stanley** » 08 Dec 2016, 13:45

I think you could be right Moh.

Post by **Stanley** » 10 Dec 2016, 05:58

News from Oz that the cable connecting Carine to the web, cut by a builder while they were away, has been repaired. Janet is doing as well as can be expected and the kids are back home. Margaret and Mick fly out tomorrow.... I shall shortly be home alone again!

Post by **Stanley** » 14 Dec 2016, 05:09

Latest updates from Oz..... Janet has settled in well after her trip and is having mostly good days. There are worrying small symptoms which seem to indicate that the tumours in her brain are quietly gnawing away but her pain control is excellent and up to now she has been able to recover by sleeping. This means that her sleep patterns are changing and so Robert and Susan have adjusted theirs so that when she sleeps, they rest. On the whole she is having a quiet ride at the moment which reassures me. But time is of course against us so we watch and wait.... She has finished her Xmas shopping and today is choosing trees for the garden of the new house which has reached the stage where the garden wall is being built and shortly the landscapers will be moving in. It's a personal triumph for her that she has reached this stage. The kids are all at home and are coping as well as can be expected. Strange but welcome how this pattern has become normality for us all.
I'm doing well. My escape is in the shed working on my engine.....

Post by **Tizer** » 14 Dec 2016, 10:28

Thanks for the update on Janet. I'm sure the progress with the house will help boost her morale and keep her positive.

Post by **Stanley** » 15 Dec 2016, 04:13

She loves the new house. They designed it themselves and supervised the build. You're right, it's good for her.....

Post by **Stanley** » 18 Dec 2016, 05:59

Janet is enjoying her relative spell of remission, she's been shopping three days on the trot!
I got a letter from the Office of the Public Guardian yesterday. The two LPAs for terminal care and finances are registered and operative. As soon as I am incapacitated my daughters can have me put down! I'm really pleased I have got this sorted out in good time. I have fulfilled my legal duty by informing the Attorneys (my daughters) and all that remains now is that when Susan is back in the country she and I will go to my bank and register her control over my finances. With luck, this should avoid some of the horror stories we have shared in this topic.

Post by **Sue** » 18 Dec 2016, 08:11

That is good news Stanley, a bit of normality helps morale. She seems to have recovered from her trip over here. It must have exhausted her

Post by **Stanley** » 19 Dec 2016, 05:02

She is still poorly by our standards Sue but it's all relative isn't it. She is well enough to enjoy herself and is keeping away from her medical team until at least after Xmas.
I realised yesterday that I made a mistake when I said that both LPAs were completed. It's the finance one that is done. The Terminal Care LPA is to follow. The system is good because they both go to Janet Geldard's partner firm for a final check. Once they have them both and are satisfied they will send them both to me. I like the many levels of scrutiny and don't mind the wait as I can be confident when I get them that all the due diligence has been done. I'd recommend this process via Janet to anyone.....

Post by **Sue** » 19 Dec 2016, 07:26

I realise that Stanley but to be able to do a few normal things helps no end. When my friends wife was terminally ill, the day she said she couldn't or didn't want to do those normal things was when he knew the time had come. Before that she always tried to live as normal a life as possible. Another brave lady like Janet

Post by **Stanley** » 19 Dec 2016, 08:02

Another good report from Susan this morning. She took Janet for a wheelchair walk in Kings Park. That's where Janet's wedding pics were done....

I'll bet it was in her mind.... She has had an hour of Jam and Jerusalem and is having a sleep as I write..... Very comforting for me to have a report like this....

Post by **Stanley** » 21 Dec 2016, 06:05

I had a lovely surprise yesterday, a call from Janet.... She is deteriorating faster now, it was a miracle that she managed to speak to me at all. We reassured each other and said nice things. Susan spoke to me afterwards and she thinks Janet will survive and enjoy Xmas but the future is looking very uncertain. I can't tell you adequately how painful this is for me. I don't claim special status in terms of grief but watching your daughter go through such a brutal and destructive experience is horrible. Susan is doing a wonderful job of pain management and is watching her like a hawk, she says that she has monitored her sleep and it is deep and untroubled. This is about the only ray of light....

Cathy · Post by **Cathy** » 21 Dec 2016, 11:20

What a hard Christmas for you all.
Thinking of you all.
What are you planning to do on Christmas Day Stanley, will you be with friends?

Post by **Moh** » 21 Dec 2016, 13:36

All in our thoughts Stanley - keep your pecker up.

LizG · Post by **LizG** » 21 Dec 2016, 20:52

Tough times Stanley. I'm sending lots of love from the other side of Oz.

Post by **Stanley** » 22 Dec 2016, 04:27

I shall be watching Oz carefully and distracting my brain in the shed Cathy. I'd be very bad company, I am focussed completely on Janet. The news is not good at the moment.....
Thanks to all of you, and yes, it's hard, no point pretending to be brave. I'm coping well I think and being very careful about personal safety. This is the time when you have an accident and the last thing anyone needs at the moment is a poorly granddad!

Post by **Nolic** » 22 Dec 2016, 07:42

Our thoughts are with you Stanley. Nolic

Post by **Stanley** » 22 Dec 2016, 12:06

On a more cheerful note, I received word this morning that my LPAs were sent recorded delivery yesterday so I can probably expect them today.
Thanks to all of you. Things may be moving fast now.....

Post by **Tizer** » 22 Dec 2016, 16:00

We're with you in spirit if not in body...

Post by **Stanley** » 23 Dec 2016, 04:26

Thanks Tiz. I am waiting for an update but I suspect Janet is entering a terminal phase.... The news yesterday was bad. I'll keep you all up to speed. Thanks for the support, it helps immensely.

OneGuyFromBarlick

Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters

Re: Family Matters