Old fashioned clean jokes

[Big Kev]

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[PanBiker]

[Tizer]

That sums it up well, Kev. Thanks!

[Big Kev]

Had the AZ vaccine on Sunday afternoon then went home and drank 9 cans of Strongbow. When I woke up on Monday morning I had a blinding headache and a dry mouth, I reckon it's vaccine related but my wife said it's just cider effects

[Stanley]

All perfectly right in my opinion. What amazes me is that leaders of countries can't see how silly the theory is.

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

[Stanley]

[Tizer]

Judging from the rhyming with `cast' that must be an American cartoon!

Had the AZ vaccine on Sunday afternoon then went home and drank 9 cans of Strongbow. When I woke up on Monday morning I had a blinding headache and a dry mouth, I reckon it's vaccine related but my wife said it's just cider effects.

Good one, Kev. And even more relevant here in Somerset! And remember...There was a young lady from Hyde, who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented, the apple fermented and made cider inside her insides.

[Big Kev]

Had the AZ vaccine on Sunday afternoon then went home and drank 9 cans of Strongbow. When I woke up on Monday morning I had a blinding headache and a dry mouth, I reckon it's vaccine related but my wife said it's just cider effects.

Good one, Kev. And even more relevant here in Somerset! And remember...There was a young lady from Hyde, who ate a green apple and died. While her lover lamented, the apple fermented and made cider inside her insides.

I do like a limerick.

[Stanley]

It made me smile as well.....

[Tizer]

Here's another...
There was a young lady from Maine
Who claimed she had men on her brain.
But you knew from the view,
As her abdomen grew,
It was not on her brain that he'd lain.

[Big Kev]

[Stanley]

I like it and hadn't heard that before....
Try THIS
I didn't know about Gransnet. They do have some rather rude limericks...... (If you like that sort of thing!)

[Cathy]

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[Stanley]

True Cathy.....

[Bodger]

A chap went to the opticians for an eye test.
He sat in the chair and the optician said to him what can you see?
He said ; I can see empty stadiums and I can see empty pubs.
Optician; Ah, you have got 2020 vision.

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

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[Tizer]

His day job was probably sourcing the NHS's PPE!

[Stanley]

I think it was Malcolm Sergeant that once asked the lady Cellist to ride side saddle.
Yes I know but that was before mentioning sex was a hanging offence.

[Cathy]

A husband and wife had been married for 60yrs and had no secrets, except for one: the woman kept in her closet- a shoebox that she forbade her husband from ever opening.
But when she was on her deathbed - and with her blessing- he opened the box and found a crocheted doll and $95,000 in cash.
“My mother told me that the secret to a happy marriage was to never argue,” she explained.
“Instead, I should keep quiet and crochet a doll.”
Her husband was touched. Only one doll was in the box - that meant she’d been angry with him only once in 60yrs.
“But what about all this money?” He asked.
“Oh,” she said, “that’s the money I made from selling the dolls.”

[Stanley]

Very good Cathy!

[Tizer]

Yes, a good one - but wicked!

[Cathy]

For the kids and grandkids...

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