Old fashioned clean jokes

[Big Kev]

[Cathy]

Loved them all

[Stanley]

"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility."
I think I have been to dinners like that....

[plaques]

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[Cathy]

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[chinatyke]

TRUST IN RELIGION
A young missionary sat down in the African bush to read his bible. A lion came up to him and laid down beside him. Convinced that this was God’s will, the missionary gently stroked the lion and began reading his bible again.
A while later, a second lion wanders up and lies down on his other side. “The Lord moves in mysterious ways” thought the missionary, as he gently patted the lions. All was peaceful until he picked up his bible and began reading again. At which point the two lions pounced, killed and devoured the man.

And the moral of this story? Don’t try to read between the lions.

[Stanley]

[Big Kev]

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This made me smile today.

[plaques]

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[Big Kev]

[Cathy]

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.

[Stanley]

Sorry Cathy, I think that is cruel.....

[Cathy]

Really Stanley, after some of the posts of late in this topic. I’ve kept quiet a few times.

[plaques]

And I will counter with.....

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[Stanley]

Now that one I like! (I must be a picky bugger Cathy...)

[Cathy]

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[plaques]

The Arrogance of Old Age

Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Aldi.
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous,
almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a
light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a
sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be
interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,

"What kind of beer you got?”

[Stanley]

Now that I do like!!

[plaques]

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[plaques]

For those wide broad minds who like a bit of humor. The Wedding

[Cathy]

It was funny, well worth watching

[Stanley]

I liked it, especially the selfie...

[plaques]

No you're not seeing things. Comedy Dance.

[Stanley]

Where do you find these things P? I've seen this before, very clever! You certainly have to concentrate otherwise it's impossible....

[plaques]

Something has to take my mind of this coronavirus and fake news stuff.

Now one for the pedantic.

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