HOUSEHOLD TIPS NOT FOUND IN WOMAN'S WEEKLY

[chinatyke]

Aaagh! I see you've still got your hot tap handle removed! I thought you'd recovered from that bout of quirkiness! The luxury of hot water doesn't cost much.

[plaques]

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.” 'Oscar Wilde' Perhaps you should do the right thing and put the tap back on and enjoy life's little luxuries.

[Stanley]

No to both of you. I enjoy the benefits of washing my hands and face in cold water during the day. Have you never noticed how youthful my complexion is?
China, it made a reduction of 20% in energy costs so while it may be quirky it is also rational.

[chinatyke]

No to both of you. I enjoy the benefits of washing my hands and face in cold water during the day. Have you never noticed how youthful my complexion is?
China, it made a reduction of 20% in energy costs so while it may be quirky it is also rational.

20%? Really? Maybe I should try it myself! We have a 80 litres stored hot water system that is electrically heated, I suppose it is the modern version of hot water cistern and immersion heater. It is left on continuously at 65C and we never give it a thought but I'm guessing that will be a major part of my electric bill. Even so it is very rare that my electricity bill exceeds 30 quid a month which would be around 500kWh.

[Stanley]

It only works if energy prices are high. If they weren't it would be no big matter to ignore the fact that water had to be warmed for the pipe run from upstairs when supplying the kitchen. In the bathroom it is almost instantaneous.

[Stanley]

If your energy provider's site goes bonkers and you can't access it even though you are registered check if gas and leccy are on. If they are forget it and wait for the site to heal up. How much time is wasted chasing up nonsense like this?

[Stanley]

If you arrive for an appointment and find it has been changed but not communicated to you, don't get angry! Try making a joke of it and being nice to the ladies who are necessary for it to happen. It works.....

[Stanley]

I may be totally mistaken but I seem to get a lot of smiles from ladies as I walk round the town centre. I like to think this is not always for Jack but sometimes for me. I always speak to anyone who smiles. Is it eye contact? Or do I look happy? I don't know but I like it and so today's tip is always thank people for a smile!

[Stanley]

Never dismiss the efficacy of bathing with warm salt water if you or your dog have a lesion.... Totally harmless and very effective in many cases.

[Stanley]

I get a lot of reinforcement lately from the number of times I am told how well I look. So today's tip is to remember to tell others the same thing and give them the benefit of a small warm glow!

[Bodger]

" and give them the benefit of a small warm glow!"
The reverse, where i served my time, not jail, we had a fitter nicknamed Snuffy from his habit, as a group but individually we would walk past his workbench and tell him in different forms that he wasn't looking well with in an hour he would clock out and go home telling the foreman he wasn't feeling well

[plaques]

that he wasn't looking well

'My word you do look queer' Stanley Holloway. Some cruel people in engineering.

[Stanley]

I thought of that song as well P and I agree, Bodge and his mates were being cruel!
An undertaker once told me that an occupational hazard of his work was that he was always measuring people for a coffin when he met them....
Today's tip is concerned with measuring, as you get older and they measure your height and tell you that you are an inch shorter than you thought, don't let it get you down! I have shrunk to 5' 7" and it is not spoiling my life!

[Stanley]

If your companion animal shakes his head frequently it could be irritation in his ears like ear mites! I knew that but was remiss and Jack and I are paying for it.....

[Marilyn]

Hmmmm...my "companion animal" shakes his head a lot...( I just thought he was a bit tight)

[Stanley]

No, it must be ear mites.....
Today's tip is to grab opportunities. If your daughter is in the far North of Scotland and you like haggis, ask her to bring you one back!

[Stanley]

I was washing my face yesterday and remembered my surgeon telling me after he had welded my detached retina up that you should only ever wipe your eyes from the nose outwards. Why did nobody tell me this as a lad?

[Marilyn]

That's how we are taught to wash new born' eyes, Stanley. And a different corner of the facecloth for each eye, so you don't transfer a problem from one eye to the other...

[Stanley]

Good Maz. Nobody ever told me.....

[Stanley]

Pick at least one item of litter a day. If everyone did this the streets would be a lot cleaner! I sometimes do a lot more than one on my early walks, it all helps!

[Stanley]

Always look on the bright side.... Hitler didn't get me, the asbestos and all the other poisons have failed so far and almost every one has something wrong with them which they die with not of. My conclusion is, keep buggering on!

[Marilyn]

...and even doctors die...of the same diseases that can get us all..

[Stanley]

Life is a terminal disease.... Jack and I share Snoopy's philosophy, if there is a chance for 40 winks, take it!

[Stanley]

When you reach a certain age remember that if you are laid in the bath or on the floor, the safest way to regain your feet is to roll over and get in a kneeling position. Far more safe to get up then.
(Another personal rule of mine is that if you are down on the floor for a reason, before you get up ask yourself if there is anything else that needs doing while you are down there!)

[Marilyn]

I have a bath every morning. I love it - I plan my day in the bath. ( and easier to get in to and sit down now I have had my back surgery. it was hell before...had to make sure my pain relief was coordinated to the precise moment)
Yes..agreed...flip onto your tummy and rise from your knees, with a good grasp of something solid. And concentrate every moment of the procedure to get out of the bath onto solid ground. Don't get distracted.
I hate showers. Never feel clean.
I'm hoping to have morning baths for many years yet, but I did doubt that a bit when I couldn't sit down without screaming and having one leg out of the water at a very strange angle.