Old fashioned clean jokes

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Big Kev
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 15 Apr 2019, 18:16

1555352085802.jpg
It made me smile :laugh5:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 16 Apr 2019, 03:01

:biggrin2:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques » 16 Apr 2019, 07:12

Kev, Looked at this last night and couldn't see the point of it. Slept overnight thinking about it but its still in the mystery object category. Other than looking like the on/off switch for the desktop computer, ie: a computerized car, I'm at a loss.

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by chinatyke » 16 Apr 2019, 12:50

It's a spoiler!
:biggrin2: :biggrin2: :biggrin2:

On the back of a car.

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques » 16 Apr 2019, 14:00

The caption on the picture says 'Spoiler Alert' but I still don't understand why it should raise a smile for Kev. Perhaps its to simulate a 'Batmobile' with flip up spoilers, whatever they are!

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 16 Apr 2019, 18:20

There have been a few news stories relating to certain broadcasting establishments leaking plot lines for tv programmes, to warn people that a plot or story line is going to be 'spoiled' a 'spoiler alert' is issued. The phrase always reminds me of spoilers on the rear of cars...


and makes me smile :-)
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques » 16 Apr 2019, 21:41

Thanks Kev. A bit esoteric but I understand now. I don't watch TV or read any reviews so things like that are way above my head.

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 17 Apr 2019, 01:50

On a bus in Tel Aviv a mother scolded her little boy for answering her Yiddish questions in Hebrew. "No no, talk Yiddish!" A bystander asked her why she insisted he spoke Yiddish. The Mother said, "Because I don't want him to forget he is a Jew!"
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 27 Apr 2019, 21:37

1556400999484.jpg
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 28 Apr 2019, 01:44

I like it! :biggrin2:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 28 Apr 2019, 16:18

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 29 Apr 2019, 02:55

I suspect that would be true....
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by plaques » 05 May 2019, 17:02

Two men, one old, one young, are pushing their trolleys around- Morrisons when they collide.
The old man says to the young man, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I
wasn't paying attention to where I was going."
The young man says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too...
I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The old man says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?"
The young man says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...
wearing no bra, long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'
To which the old man says, “doesn't matter, let's look for yours."

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 06 May 2019, 01:58

:biggrin2:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by chinatyke » 11 May 2019, 05:33

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a little and shouted, 'Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.'

The woman below replied, 'You’re in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You’re between 59 and 60 degrees north latitude and between 107 and 108 degrees west longitude.'

'You must be an engineer,' said the balloonist.

'I am,' replied the woman, 'How did you know?'

'Well,' answered the balloonist, 'Everything you told me is technically correct, but but I’ve no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip.'

The woman below responded, 'You must be a politician.'

'I am,' replied the balloonist, 'But how did you know?'

'Well', said the woman, 'You don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my fault.'

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 11 May 2019, 05:50

:laugh5:

So close to the truth...
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 12 May 2019, 03:26

Indeed! A good one China.....
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Cathy » 17 May 2019, 03:12

Thought some of you might enjoy this joke from our late PM Bob Hawke

Google PM Bob Hawke Hilarious Boat Joke.

:laugh5: :surprised: :laugh5:
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here. :)

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 18 May 2019, 04:01

That is funny. (LINK)
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Big Kev » 19 May 2019, 20:21

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 20 May 2019, 02:21

:good:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by chinatyke » 27 May 2019, 09:03

I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog poo. A minute later some guy did exactly the same.
I said to him "I just did that." So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard.

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 28 May 2019, 03:01

:good:
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Bodger » 12 Jun 2019, 07:07

A man was walking down a street one day, when up ahead he noticed little Johnny wearing his fireman’s hat. He was sat in a little red toy truck. It appeared that the truck was being pulled by a Labrador dog.
When the man got closer to Johnny, he noticed that Johnny had got a piece of rope tied round the dog’s testicles. (This probably accounted for the way the dog was walking).
Smiling he said" Thats a really fine fire engine you have there Johnny, but I'll bet you the dog would pull you faster with the rope tied round its neck".
"Yeah" said Johnny "But then I wouldn’t have a siren"

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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes

Post by Stanley » 12 Jun 2019, 08:48

:good: :laugh5:
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