Old fashioned clean jokes
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Loved them all
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
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- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
"The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility."
I think I have been to dinners like that....
I think I have been to dinners like that....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
TRUST IN RELIGION
A young missionary sat down in the African bush to read his bible. A lion came up to him and laid down beside him. Convinced that this was God’s will, the missionary gently stroked the lion and began reading his bible again.
A while later, a second lion wanders up and lies down on his other side. “The Lord moves in mysterious ways” thought the missionary, as he gently patted the lions. All was peaceful until he picked up his bible and began reading again. At which point the two lions pounced, killed and devoured the man.
And the moral of this story? Don’t try to read between the lions.
A young missionary sat down in the African bush to read his bible. A lion came up to him and laid down beside him. Convinced that this was God’s will, the missionary gently stroked the lion and began reading his bible again.
A while later, a second lion wanders up and lies down on his other side. “The Lord moves in mysterious ways” thought the missionary, as he gently patted the lions. All was peaceful until he picked up his bible and began reading again. At which point the two lions pounced, killed and devoured the man.
And the moral of this story? Don’t try to read between the lions.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
This made me smile today.
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Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
.
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I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Sorry Cathy, I think that is cruel.....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Really Stanley, after some of the posts of late in this topic. I’ve kept quiet a few times.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
And I will counter with.....
.
.
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- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Now that one I like! (I must be a picky bugger Cathy...)
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
The Arrogance of Old Age
Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Aldi.
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous,
almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a
light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a
sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be
interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of beer you got?”
Yesterday morning, I bought two six packs of beer on sale at Aldi.
I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the petrol station where a drop-dead gorgeous,
almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.
It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a
light top which was wide open.
She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less breasts almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a
sexy voice, “I am a big believer in barter, old fellow. Would you be
interested in trading sex for beer."
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of beer you got?”
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Now that I do like!!
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
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Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
For those wide broad minds who like a bit of humor. The Wedding
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
It was funny, well worth watching
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I liked it, especially the selfie...
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
No you're not seeing things. Comedy Dance.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91067
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Where do you find these things P? I've seen this before, very clever! You certainly have to concentrate otherwise it's impossible....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Something has to take my mind of this coronavirus and fake news stuff.
Now one for the pedantic.
.
Now one for the pedantic.
.
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