21F4E01B-DBC2-4D13-A858-BD95B407D8F3.png
Old fashioned clean jokes
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I must have a dirty mind Cathy. The answer surprised me. Clever!
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Person 1 : I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.
Person 2 : How?
Person 1 : I forgot to take them out of the oven.
Person 2 : How?
Person 1 : I forgot to take them out of the oven.
I know I'm in my own little world, but it's OK... they know me here.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Nice one Cathy....
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Yesterday's main cartoon in The Times was in two frames. The first showed Harry telling us that the Royal family is like `The Truman Show and being in a zoo'. The second shows him with Meghan surrounded by paparazzi, cameras flashing, fans screaming and waving etc.
One of today's front page cartoons shows a man standing outside a pub and reading the notice on the wall....
17th May
5.00pm Happy Hour
6.00pm New lockdown
One of today's front page cartoons shows a man standing outside a pub and reading the notice on the wall....
17th May
5.00pm Happy Hour
6.00pm New lockdown
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I'm afraid Harry and Meghan are becoming a running joke. I have a funny feeling it will all end in tears.
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I like that one David!
Have they missed the apostrophe in pedants?
Have they missed the apostrophe in pedants?
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Maybe - depends whether the word is being used as a noun (in which case I'd probably put the apostrophe after the S), or an adjective to describe the type of conference.
I try not to comment on errors - that way lies trouble - for instance, I didn't mention it last week when you used who's when it should have been whose.
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
That's Stanley's quote, not mineTripps wrote: ↑19 May 2021, 07:50Maybe - depends whether the word is being used as a noun (in which case I'd probably put the apostrophe after the S), or an adjective to describe the type of conference.
I try not to comment on errors - that way lies trouble - for instance, I didn't mention it last week when you used who's when it should have been whose.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Of course - I don't know how that happened. Probably fat fingers. . . .
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
- Stanley
- Global Moderator
- Posts: 91292
- Joined: 23 Jan 2012, 12:01
- Location: Barnoldswick. Nearer to Heaven than Gloria.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
"used who's when it should have been whose. "
Oh dear! You should have jumped on me David. Standards should be maintained!
Oh dear! You should have jumped on me David. Standards should be maintained!
Stanley Challenger Graham
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Stanley's View
scg1936 at talktalk.net
"Beware of certitude" (Jimmy Reid)
The floggings will continue until morale improves!
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Just read about an archaeology magazine holding a conference, using automated tech and software to record and convert the lectures to text then finding it doesn't work perfectly. In a piece about an ancient village the software wrote that `the midden had been used as a rubber sheep'.
Nullius in verba: On the word of no one (Motto of the Royal Society)
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I love speech to text softwareTizer wrote: ↑20 May 2021, 08:18 Just read about an archaeology magazine holding a conference, using automated tech and software to record and convert the lectures to text then finding it doesn't work perfectly. In a piece about an ancient village the software wrote that `the midden had been used as a rubber sheep'.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I'm getting more forgiving as I get older - we don't want any more flouncing.
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
I'm more impressed by translation software which listens in one language, and outputs in another. I'm fairly sure it exists, and isn't just science fiction.
Anyone tried it? The implications, if it works, are tremendous. I wonder if they speak 'Yorkshire' ?
Give it some thought. . .
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Yes. We lazy ex-pats use it a lot here. It does a very acceptable job of translating English to Chinese and vice-versa, and output can be audio and/or text. Everyone seems to have an app on their smart phones to do translation. It is obvious when the translation is wrong and it can't be understood by the other party. In that case you just re-phrase it in a less ambiguous way. As you would expect, srong accents produce less accuracy.Tripps wrote: ↑20 May 2021, 11:54
I'm more impressed by translation software which listens in one language, and outputs in another. I'm fairly sure it exists, and isn't just science fiction.
Anyone tried it? The implications, if it works, are tremendous. I wonder if they speak 'Yorkshire' ?
Give it some thought. . .
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
So it's true. Have you got an empty flat for rent?
PS a little research has revealed a solution. triplingo
Spooky or what?
PS a little research has revealed a solution. triplingo
Spooky or what?
Born to be mild
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Sapere Aude
Ego Lego
Preferred pronouns - Thou, Thee, Thy, Thine
My non-working days are Monday - Sunday
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Sorry, we haven't a flat available to rent at the moment.
The translator is much better than just a verbal one. You can open the app on your phone and take a photograph and it will translate any words. Very useful for reading Chinese characters, food labels, information signs, messages, instructions etc
The translator is much better than just a verbal one. You can open the app on your phone and take a photograph and it will translate any words. Very useful for reading Chinese characters, food labels, information signs, messages, instructions etc
Re: Old fashioned clean jokes
Wasn't sure if this was a joke or just social comment
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Kev
Stylish Fashion Icon.
Stylish Fashion Icon.