Family Matters

[PanBiker]

When I quit the fags, almost six years ago now I used patches. I did the full course, about 12 -16 weeks, 3 stages of different strength patches then off completely. Not had a fag since. No chewing or anything like that, 24 hour patches, stick it on in the morning and forget it, worked for me. Biggest problem was finding a new place to stick it each each day on a hairy bloke.

Might be an option for you Maz if you don't like the taste of the gum.

[Tizer]

Found out today that my dad has an appointment booked at 9.00am tomorrow for a man to come and talk to him about buying hearing aids. He mentioned that he'd been on the phone to a company but we told him not to do anything until they'd sent him some literature through the post. But I think they've got him to agree an appointment, so we've rung and told them not to come and told the care home not to let the chap visit him if he does turn up (just in case, because we can't be there tomorrow morning). The firm sells hearing aids "starting at £299" and he needs two so it would cost at least about £600 for even the most basic ones. They wouldn't be any better than the NHS can provide. He currently has two NHS aids but he jams them in and out of his ears and ends up with the ears so painful that he can't put them in. He's vain and I think he's been taken in by the sales patter about `invisible hearing aids' but they aren't any good for him, they are too low power and too difficult to handle...and too bloomin' expensive! (He hasn't asked about prices and would get an almighty shock if the bloke told him!)

[Stanley]

It's a minefield! Commiserations.....

[Cathy]

Good that you intervened Tise, as you know there are some real lowdown rogues out there deliberately targeting the elderly and/or unaware.

[EileenDavid]

It's good that your father still bothers about his appearance Tiz but there are rouges out there always on the prowl for the vulnerable. Dave's mum had two hearing aids and she had private ones they were big and caramel coloured but she didn't have the bit over the ear like the NHS ones but that was over 12 years ago and they were £600 each then. When she went into residential care she didn't have them in and didn't seem to need them as we think she had selective hearing anyway. Eileen

[Tizer]

We're familiar with the `selective hearing', Eileen! And my dad also `tells stories' when he wants something and will go as far as even breaking something if he wants it replaced - yes, childish, but he's done that as long as I remember. My mum used to tell him off for wasting money repeatedly changing his car so he'd do something to make the car appear to have `broken down' and then say he would have to change it. When I was a child he sometimes wrongly blamed things on me but luckily my mum knew better! We suspect he's been pretending his hearing aids don't work properly because he thought he could get ones that were `invisible' - strangely, they now seem to be working OK since we told him how much private aids would cost.

[Stanley]

Hee hee! That worked then!

[Tizer]

Dad's booked in for a mental assessment next Monday with the GP. He's getting more confused and can't seem to cope with time of day or night. When we visit him in the morning he keeps saying he needs to go to the restaurant and have his lunch even though it's hours away. On Monday, after mentioning it several times and being told no, it's not until 12.30, he got up and walked to the restaurant at 11.30 because he didn't believe us. Sometimes he says lunch is at 3.30 in the afternoon and doesn't seem to see anything wrong with that timing. I think he sleeps a lot during the day now and this, combined with his love of having the curtains almost closed all day, adds to the confusion of night and day.

[Stanley]

'Drawing the curtains'. Funny isn't it how we are imprinted by our parents. In the culture that I was raised in nobody would dream of shutting the daylight out. Curtains were never drawn until the light failed and appropriately enough, if there had been a death in the house.

[Belle]

Yes, my mum used to open them before she went to bed so that no one could judge at what time the house rose! and I too remember the village main street all with it's curtains closed as a funeral passed by. Hence the saying "it's curtains for you!" i guess!

[Stanley]

That's interesting Belle. Never thought about that origin before. Sounds feasible.

[Marilyn]

I like to sleep with both the window open and the curtains open...hate being shut in an airless box all night. The moonlight coming through the window is enough light for me to negotiate the route to the loo without turning a light on.
I have a lock on the bedroom window so it is secure, as it is at ground level, but even two inches gives a lovely breeze some nights.
I have found it difficult sleeping with the bedroom door shut since son moved in. It is mostly shut to stop the dog ending up on our bed, but also because son works shift work and comes and goes at all hours. Hate that closed in feeling...

[David Whipp]

Mostly, our windows are firmly shut, because of the noise from Rolls-Royce. Alison also hunts down any chink in the curtains as she hates dawn waking her up too early (not a problem at this time of year).

Our bedroom door is firmly shut. Otherwise, we'd be pinned down with two or three cats on top of the covers and then there'd be rioting from them at some ungodly hour of the night.

[Tizer]

In our `quiet' Somerset village we have to keep the bedroom window shut at night because the wildlife makes to much noise, especially those damn birds at the crack of dawn! Also the snails like climbing walls and will investigate if they find an open window. We once found a small slug in the inner hallway and used its slime trail to trace it's entry back to the open loo window - then had to go along cleaning the slime off the carpet!

The staff at the Extra Care House have been assuring us and the council care department that my dad isn't going out without them knowing - they have a log book which people, including residents, have to use to sign themselves in and out (fire regs) and the office faces the entrance. But we've had to inform them that dad is going in and out by the back door. He's not being sneaky, it's just his way. He doesn't relish social interaction and tries to avoid having to talk to people. His mother was just the same, she only used the front door when going out on Sunday in her best clothes and the rest of the time she left by the yard gate and walked through the backs to reach the shops.

[Stanley]

I'm with Maz in the bedroom.... Always have the window open a crack so that cold fresh air falls across my face while I sleep. It feels nice and must be good for you. Fire brigade will tell you that every door in the house should be shut at night in case of fire but I have to admit I like mine open.
Which door you generally use to leave the house is interesting. I am a back door man, always have been but I notice that some of the people whose houses are on East Hill Street and have garden fronts use their front doors more than the back.

[David Whipp]

I grew up in the house where we live now.

I can't remember using the 'front' door (actually on the side of the house). We always used the back door. The 'vestibule' (first part of the hallway, with a second door after about 4 feet) was used by mum for storage. In winter, it was generally full of geraniums.

When we did the house up, the front door was firmly established as our main means of accessing the house; it's right next to where we park the car and more convenient than the back door.

For a dozen years or so this was fine. Then last year the handle got a bit dodgy. Tom decided to 'fix' it.

We haven't been able to use the front door in the 15 months since...

Now it's being used for storage. Mostly Barlick in Bloom stuff... but I've not filled it with geraniums yet.

[Tripps]

"I'm with Maz in the bedroom"

So it's back on then eh?

[Moh]

Tripps - it is a long way to go!!
Both our doors are on the same side - we tend to use the back door from the kitchen usually, but since my accident it is easier to get out of the front door as the steps from the back door are quite steep.
We keep our bedroom windows closed as they are quite large opening outwards, the bedroom door is left ajar.

[Tizer]

The council house I grew up in was a semi on a steep hill. We had the semi on the `down' side with a floor level that was a lot higher than the ground and it had about four large, steep steps made of bricks at both front and back. As a child I fell down them a number of times but survived to tell the tale - and once I tried to ride my tricycle up the front steps but learnt something about weight distribution as it toppled over backwards and deposited me on the path with a sore head. When we had a dog, a West Highland White terrier, she was always keen to get outside. When she heard the back door open in the kitchen she would charge through the house, remember at the last minute about the steps and try to stop, but then slide across the linoleum and shoot out off the doorway almost horizontally and land in a heap on the path. She never suffered any damage but it was like a clip from a Wallace and Grommit film!

[Stanley]

David, I knew that would get you going. Maz and I are very happy with our arrangements which are none of your business... (Some people have very dirty minds....)
Lots of farmhouses and cottages in Barlick don't have back doors. Think of the days when doors were ill-fitting, stops through draughts. This is of course true of all back to backs.

[Marilyn]

What can I say...except that my bedroom may be getting overcrowded!

We have to come and go by the front door. Two side doors and back door only lead to enclosed back yard.

Son moved out today. We are still in a mess at this end, and it has been a very long, hot day. He still has to come back for his clothes. ( tomorrow)
I found myself getting up to feed the dog. No need. Not my problem any more.
Expect I shall adjust...

[Stanley]

You'll soon get back to normal Maz.....

[Cathy]

Well my bedroom certainly isn't overcrowded now that Stanley has chuffed off to Marilyns (thought something was different)

I sleep with all windows shut except for the loo window which is only a few metres from my bedroom, I can hear the wind and feel the fresh air, it's very rarely shut. My bedroom door is never closed, I don't really like any doors in the house to be closed, I find they give me a strange feeling as if there is something awful behind the door.

[Marilyn]

Cazza....I swear...I have my hands full as it is....

[Stanley]

Jack is asking questions......