Appeal for international help.

[catgate]

This is a very serious appeal for help on behalf of a very well known charity who in this particular instance feels it best if they are not named, for reasons of anonymity, so we will just call them X.

The reason that this route of "funding" has cropped up is due to the now well established fashion of wearing pseudo torn jeans. These are being produced in their millions by the sweat shops of the Far East.

Up to recently the girls and boys who did the sewing were supplying the holes, to put into the new garments, from their own clothes. But now that they have a little more money they are discarding their old clothes and buying new before the holes appear. Hence there is a shortage of genuine holes, and hole substitutes are having to be used. Unfortunately the hole substitutes are very easily recognised for what they are, just imitation.

X has come to an agreement with a wholesaler in the Far East, who supplies cloth and sewing materials, that they will contribute 1 Chinese yuan ( = 0.0955849155 British pounds) per dozen for just as many holes as he receives from the UK. These will then be sold on to the manufacturers at cost.

So what we are looking for is for the good folk of the UK to send as many real holes as possible to:-

Chingdo Yellow Tiger Sewing
Yingling Road, 238a Unit
Mentougou
Beijing 34
The Peoples Republic of Chinese

Holes can be sent quite cheaply at normal postal rates in a plain Manilla envelope.

Precautions:-

Do not mix holes of different sizes in the same envelope because one can slip accidentally inside another.

Do not cut them to size to fit in any envelope. This sometimes causes fraying at the edges.

By all means fold the holes to fit the size of envelope to hand, but do not fold them too many times as they some times get weakened at the fold.

Please mark on the back of the envelope the number and size of the holes contained in it. This facilitates rapid handling by Chingdo Yellow Tiger Sewing.

[Tizer]

Sir, do the holes have to be blue or will any colour do?

[catgate]

I am of the opinion that any colour will do except tartan. This is because it reminds them of custard. The often have tartan custard.

[Tizer]

I've heard that the Chinese have been secretly sending delegations to African countries, offering technology and construction deals in exchange for a secure supply of holes. If we are not careful they''ll have a monopoly and be able to push up the price worldwide.

[Tardis]

I am struggling to find a recepticle that will hold more than one hole, and the postage could be excessive on large quantities

[catgate]

I've heard that the Chinese have been secretly sending delegations to African countries, offering technology and construction deals in exchange for a secure supply of holes.

They could end up getting very wet. I believe most of the African holes are water holes.

[Tizer]

...as well as bank holes and field holes.

[Whyperion]

Do they want round holes or square holes. Would it help If I used a removable adhesive to to stop the holes moving in transit?

[Gloria]

I am struggling with the packing, if I lay them on top of each other they fall through and disappear, I have tried overlapping them but the same thing seems to happen.

[Whyperion]

I would try a black hole , but I would not like to get sucked into this thread too much.

[Bradders Bluesinger]

Gloria ...Mention that you're considering stopping their pocket money....
That'll put 'em on edge , and they'll go in easy....!

[Gloria]

Ha ha, I did try stamping on them a bit to flatten them out, but, I fell through------beggar of a job to get back up

[Cathy]

I find a layer of clingwrap between each hole helps to keep them secure.

[Tizer]

Hello Cathy, I'm diverging from the topic here but seeing your avatar meant I couldn't resist asking...did you read that George Clooney has been arrested (but now released) by the secret police in Washington? LINK I guess you'll be applying for a job with the US secret police now!

[Tardis]

Do you think that they will find any use for second hand polo mints?

Once I've managed to get the hole out of the middle of the sweet of course.

[Gloria]

I would have thought there's a bit of a hole in the market for second hand ones.
It's the hole which is the expensive bit, terrible job getting them to hold their shape.

[Tizer]

I remember doing a visit to the Rowntree factory that made Polo mints and watching the holes being collected for recycling into more Polo mints!

[Cathy]

Tiser was you're post about George Clooney meant for someone else?

[Tizer]

No, I seem to remember you once expressing great affection for George Clooney so I thought you might want to be in the police squad who tracked him down (well it seemed funny at the time). Sorry if I got it all confused - not unusual for me!

[Whyperion]

Tardis 2nd Hand ( or pre-used ) Polo Mints have holes that are too large for re-use.

Those holes unfortunately have to go to landfill - to fill up the large hole that Polo excavated in the first place to create standard sized holes to BS0000.

[Tardis]

Tardis 2nd Hand ( or pre-used ) Polo Mints have holes that are too large for re-use.

Those holes unfortunately have to go to landfill - to fill up the large hole that Polo excavated in the first place to create standard sized holes to BS0000.

Oh well, I'd prefer to recycle them

[Whyperion]

Maybe they can be used in the packs of mini-doughnuts, they seem about the right diameter and can be stacked as the edges are supported by the dough flour during cooking.

[Tizer]

The Large Hadron Collider in Geneva is a giant polo or doughnut I wonder where they hid the middle of that? Buried under another Swiss mountain perhaps? I hope they checked the middle didn't contain the much sought-after Higgs Boson, this could be why they can't find it in the Collider.

[catgate]

............the much sought-after Higgs Boson, this could be why they can't find it in the Collider.

Perhaps the higgs bosun is a hole sailer.

[Tardis]

I'm not fond of dealing with middle men