Today I shall be Mainly...

[Marilyn]

I spent 4hours at the cemetery today...gosh it is a big place and ever so interesting. A windy but sunny day, and although I took a sun hat, it kept blowing off, so I did catch the sun.
I took a flask of coffee and a sandwich, but I still feel I walked "miles".
One female ancestor I wanted to catch up with was my son's GGGrandmother. She had two husbands (and children to each though I believe she was guilty of Bigamy) and then at least one child ( possibly 2) to a third man.her first husband was a widower...some 20+ years older than her. He had six children already, when he married her. She was 19 years old.
In her day she may have been regarded as a "tramp" but I adore interesting people...so I was honoured to "meet" her today at the grave. She had a hard life, in a new colony, and did the best she could. There were plenty more of her era who only had their bodies to offer to ensure their children's survival. She had 3 children to her first husband and at least 4 to her second.
She "got caught" with a "change of life baby' ( my son's great grandmother), to a third man.
The shock I got at the grave today is that she is buried with a man ( who I think may be a son I hadn't known about??? More research needed). He has the name and surname of her second husband but is 30+ years younger than her...and that cannot be right cos if it was, he would have been about 8 years old when they married! ( obviously a son, not a husband???).
But I walked away smiling, because her whole life has baffled me....especially as her descendants were "ever so proper"!!!
Honestly, they looked down their noses at everyone, and "breeding" was utmost to them! One had to "Marry well".
Gosh, if only they had known what I know!

[Stanley]

Funny isn't it Maz, how some people can be so stuffy and 'frightened of what people will think'. Like you, I never judge people, what do I know about what drives them, my dad is a good example, on the face of it a bigamist and a liar but that has never influenced me. Like your ancestor he was driven by 'Events Dear Boy', it applies in life as well as politics. I'll bet we would both have liked her.....
I shall be in the shed a bit then washing, cooking and housework burning free leccy!

[Marilyn]

My former mother-in-law did tell me that the first question her Husband-to-be asked her was "Are you Catholic? Because I can't go out with you if you are."
So I thought I had gone terribly wrong somewhere when I ended up in the Catholic section of the cemetery looking for his Grandfather. I walked all the way back to the touch screen to print off new directions, as I was sure I must have transcribed them incorrectly. Sure enough...Catholic section. That left me grinning too. The wife wasn't buried with him. She was buried in the Anglican area. ( he died first, so I suppose she honoured his wishes).
The things that divide families...

[Sue]

My family is full of it Maz. Bigamists, unmarried mothers, all frowned upon by the very families that concealed these events.

[Sue]

A little art and a little bit of gardening today I think. Bob is out all afternoon at the model railway so I shall chill out and potter

[Marilyn]

I find ir particularly ironic because I grew up in a kid's home ( so I was treated by some older members of the family I married in to as "so much less than desired" despite the fact I had done very well at school and had a career in Nursing.)
That hurt me for many years, but I am bullet-proof now I am older of course.
I just find it funny how life works out....

[Tizer]

My mum had something in her background and she used to say "I'll tell you about it one day" but she was ashamed about it and all I ever learnt was that she was married before meeting my dad. Apparently the man turned out to be a ` bad 'un' and somehow she was freed from the marriage by her family's intervention. That's all she would ever tell us and my dad wouldn't admit to knowing any more about it. This was in South Africa at the time of WW2. Her mother and father had split up and she had a stepfather who she didn't like and I suspect marrying the first man might have been a reaction to that. One lasting effect was that when she married my dad and took his name that was her fourth surname! (Father, stepfather, first husband, second husband.)

[PanBiker]

Updating my distribution lists for the remembrance crosses down at Gill. Managed to find four more lads last year, I hope I can find them again this year. New to the cemetery list I have Frank Brown (Italy - July 1944) and Barry Nutter (Ypres - 1917). In the churchyard, William Garner (KIA - 1917) and Sgt James Bury (DCM, MM - 1918)

If I can find them all this brings my distribution list to 77 with a further 5 potentials not found yet that may or may not be recorded on family plots.

I will be short of crosses this year so will have to see Anne Marie for another box, the poppy shop opens this week so I will call in.

[Marilyn]

This woman had 4 surnames too, Tizzy! And she used them all...whichever one she fancied.
He parents arrived here with there brood around 1850 and Clara was born here. For some reason the entire family changed their surname to the mother's maiden name ( even some of the older males who had married by this time. That is another mystery I would dearly like to take by the scruff of the neck and shake).
Then came husband No1, in 1880. ( he lived until 1909 even though she "remarried" in 1888) so there was the 4th surname, again used freely with the other 3. This second husband of hers was a drover, so they moved about and Clara had other babies up and down the trail. She wasn't too reliable about registering the births.
Then along came baby Ivy to yet another man and she was registered and had his surname first, then Clara's second husband's surname last.The father was identified on the registration.
When Ivy got married, she had dropped her birth father's surname. ( and as this is getting into more recent history now, I am pretty certain that Ivy had no idea that the man she called "Dad" was not her father! I suspect her mother Clara baffled enough officials and clerks in her life to wrangle paperwork that suited her.)
In her later years, Clara ran a city boarding house. I'm not saying it was a house of ill repute ( but I suspect it was!). It was certainly in the city slum area at that time and sanitation was poor.

[Stanley]

I think I might be able to trump you all, I have choice of four surnames and in the last two generations, a murderer,a thief and a bigamist. That's all in the last fifty years, if I go back further I can add to that! My Dad once told me that if anyone ever called me an ill-bred bastard I shouldn't argue with them!

[Marilyn]

My Clara was also a self-professed midwife. The only problem was, she would arrive well before the baby was due and stay weeks afterward, whilst leaving at least five children under 12 at home to fend for themselves whilst she wore out her welcome sponging off people!
The kids had no idea where she was or when she would return. ( info gathered from a book written by a now dead relative).
I also discovered that second husband disappeared mysteriously and body never found ( so I am close to holding my own with you,Stanley.)

[Stanley]

There was more Maz..... Here's Mary and me at Escort Rock, scene of a famous robbery. (LINK) The family could never fathom why Granddad Alex (who lived to be 103) was so upset about the pursuit and final apprehension of the Gardner Gang. There was reason to suspect he had been closely acquainted with them. Colourful ancestors! God Bless 'Em!
I shall be in the shed doing more precise work! (Or trying to.....)

[Marilyn]

I see you are breaking all the rules of an Englishman in Oz. ( you have removed excess clothing and exposed yourself to sunshine. I remember a relative visiting my husband some years ago. He was 90 years old and refused to sit in the shade. We tried to point out the dangers, but he couldnt be told. He was quite sick with the heat stroke....)
If I had the time to investigate your situation, I would certainly enjoy it. Maybe I can in future.
I have now had to draw out a timeline for my Clara ( who also had three fore-names as well as the four surnames - all interchangeable at will, but thankfully, she preferred Clara.
Febby laughed at me with my timeline as I was hunched over and scribbling...in my own world when he crept up on me.
I am somewhere between 9 and 11 children ( 9 confirmed). One of those I found through WW1 records and matched addresses ( there was 52 pages of info there as the poor lad joined up to fight in France, made it to England to be deployed, and caught Influenza on the boat which had rapidly progressed to Spinal Meningitis so he died 3 days after being transferred from the ship to hospital. This provided Clara with £1 a week pension. As she was illiterate, but could sign her name, others had to translate letters backward and forward, and they are on file.)
But...dates confirmed today explain her husband "disappeared" some 6 years before I had thought. So at least 2 children born to other men. Must hunt for more records.
Hard to fathom if this woman is saint or sinner!

[Stanley]

You forget the possibility that I have aborigine blood in me Maz! Old Alex reckoned it was true....
If ever you want to have a dig download 'An Australian Life' from the site, many of the clues are in there. As you say, saints or sinners? Lovely.

[Sue]

Today is lunch with my old sewing friends, the group disbanded after our teacher became ill and evntually died. I am the only one who still sews . Pilates at teatime and a bit of sewing.

I must write something for creative writing. Last months topic was FIRE and as my cousin in California was caught up in the latest massive forest fire i thought I could produce something. I like writing factual things, most of the group like fiction thus most titles do not inspire me. I go for the social outing. One or two of the group write very funny stories and poems and the session is always hilarious. Comedy is not my forte, or should I say comedy in writing, I do like a good laugh.

[PanBiker]

You forget the possibility that I have aborigine blood in me Maz! Old Alex reckoned it was true....

You could do better than hearsay now Stanley and get your ancestry DNA done.

[Marilyn]

I have a friend who grew up in care and only found out she was part Aboriginal when she got married....and all these relatives she never knew she had turned up for the wedding.

[Stanley]

Ian, DNA.... I've yet to be convinced that commercial DNA results are reliable. Besides, I rather like the fact that I may have Aborigine blood! So If I had been your friend Maz I would have been delighted!



Going carefully forward with my latest watch-making essay!

[Sue]

I think they all use the same analysis methods Stanley. The size of the database they are matched against is important but there is little manual matching these days, its all done by machines. I am seriously thinking of having mine done by Ancestry, for pure interest and to help connect to Rochdale Widdup families of whom I am in toucn throughout the world. My Rochdale Widdup ancester does not seem to connect to any of the other Widdups living here at the time which seems strange.

[Tripps]

I'm also sceptical of these DNA analysis services. We need someone to send the same sample in twice, and see if it yields exactly the same result. Any investigative journalists watching?
I think this is just another income stream for Ancestry - the demand for family research must surely have peaked by now. We're all mixtures - what does it matter? On the one hand we're PC, and ignore racial origins - on the other hand, we want to know what our racial profile is.

[PanBiker]

You don't have to use Ancestry, there are numerous vendors of DNA profiling services, you can ask for different search criteria as well if you wish. With automated systems why would it be any less accurate than any other?

[Stanley]

'Automation' doesn't necessarily mean infallible Ian. Garbage in equals garbage out. I base my scepticism on a programme I saw in which some researchers in the field looked at commercial DNA analysis and concluded that they were unreliable mainly because the criteria they use for their search parameters were too simplistic.
yesterday I had fun at the clinic having my retinal scan.... Those eye drops are savage!

[Sue]

How old was the programme, the techniques are very sophisticated now.

[Sue]

Art this morning , an exercise in pen and ink with watercolour wash. Writing this afternoon and I managed 2300 words on my cousins experiences living in the Redwood forests of California. I have an extra yoga class tonight as I can’t make it next Monday.

We will have a short lunch with our friends Wendy and Keith, who can’t make it tomorrow. We need to meet up as this week we have all booked a cruise up the inside passage in Alaska in May. We are trying to organise flights as we intend having a short stay in Washington DC afterwards with their daughter and family. We have known her since she was 11 and it will be nice to see her. She is a remarkable example of success from a local small comprehensive, through failed A levels, A level repeats, and a small relatively unknown University college and a long hard PhD. She is a good example of ‘ You can get there if you try’. i should think not the most favouite person of Mr T, she is married to a Mexican and involved in the rights of women in third workd countries!

[PanBiker]

I have finished my distribution of crosses down at Gill today. I started with 77 on my list and found all I could in the cemetery on Monday. Tuesday wasn't fit weather wise so I resumed in the churchyard yesterday. In the process I found an extra 3 in the churchyard that were not on my list. No matter how many times I do this I always seem to find more on my rounds. Each year I also lose or fail to find a number of previously identified plots in both the cemetery and churchyard.

This year I was surprised to find that I had more unfound in the cemetery than the churchyard. It's normally the other way round, the cemetery is more open and is usually tidier than the churchyard as that has a lot of trees, fallen leaves and a lot more laid down headstones. I tick off my list as I go and then when finished I annotate a cross for each of the lads that I have missed. I set these up in the relevant areas so that everyone is remembered whether or not I have managed to find them this year. How the leaves fall or how the moss grows on standing or laid down headstones can have a huge bearing on how many I find each year. There are a few regulars now particularly in the churchyard that I have to write up each year, I think some of these will be due to laid down headstones no longer readable. Here are my my missing lads for this year.

These are the ones for the cemetery.



In close up.



Gill churchyard has a nice tree on the corner of the path.



I always set the Shires brothers Wilfred and Herbert up together, they are remembered on a family plot somewhere in the churchyard but I have not rediscovered them for for over 3 consecutive years now. I will keep them together as long as I am able.